Sometimes, research into other subjects sends you down a rabbit hole. My rabbit hole was January 1860 – every newspaper story from that month seemed to be trying to outdo the previous one for sheer absurdity.
Good luck finding a sober copper in Ipswich:
Tuesday, January 24.
Before the Police Magistrate, Messrs Broughton, Lucas, H. Challinor, Cribb, and Cardew. Mathew Connolly, district constable, was charged with drunkenness and absence from duty. On pleading guilty, he was ordered to be placed on the list on an ordinary constable and severely reprimanded. On repetition of the offence to be dismissed. Constable Storey, charged with drunkenness and violation of duty, and absence from his beat, on pleading guilty was sentenced to a fine of £3, to be severely reprimanded, and on repetition of the offence to be dismissed. Edward Galliers, pound-keeper, was charged with non-performance of his duties, and inability to perform them from drunkenness. Evidence was given that he could not perform his duty, but on the testimony of his medical attendant. Dr. Lucas, went to show that he was subject to epileptic fits, the Bench took a favourable view and dismissed the case.
A ‘guano’ invasion
LOCAL INTELLIGENCE,
PATIENT EXTRAORDINARY.-Yesterday a singular patient introduced himself into the principal ward of the Brisbane Hospital, without the knowledge of the usual authorities, in the shape of a large guano. After some slight scuffle between the lame, the halt, and the blind, and their unexpected visitor, the intruder was ultimately captured and handed over to the House Surgeon, in whose presence he seized a kitten, from which he was with difficulty shaken off, and properly secured.
I’m fairly sure that they meant a goanna or iguana. I hope. And what was a kitten doing in the House Surgeon’s room?
the capture of the queen.
Mrs. Maria Powell, alias Queen of the Artemisia, was charged with drunkenness, A very lady -like curtsey when she entered the box was the prelude to a scene which baffles description. Mrs. Powell declared that she was an ill-used woman, and also that she was too much of a lady to commit herself in the manner indicated. When P. C. Currie was about taking the oath, Mrs. Powell acquainted him that he was about to swear falsely, called upon Jackson Currie to consider what he was going to do, and finding that her appeals had no effect upon him she resigned herself placidly to her fate, exclaiming that she was too well known by those who presided at that court for the evidence of a policeman to injure her. P. C. Cross corroborated the statement of the former witness as to the state of the defendant, whereupon Mrs. Powell remarked to the Bench how a fiddle had been played while she was in the lock-up, and expressions used which testified rejoicing at the capture of the Queen. Mrs. Powell repeatedly extolled her husband to the Bench, saying that he was the best builder in Brisbane, and her care for him was so great that she had left her home to go over to where he was working to cook for him, and the policemen, owing her a spite, had arrested her illegally. All the eloquence of the lady failed to make an impression on the magistrates. They adjudged her to pay a fine of £2, and she left the court in custody of the police, as she had a month’s imprisonment to undergo if she did not pay, exclaiming, ” Gentlemen, I think you have done wrong; when my husband hears of this he will be very sorry. What will he do if he has no one to look after him?”
assault on a consul at the school of the arts.
POLICE COURT.
FRIDAY (YESTERDAY).
BEFORE W. A. Brown, Esq., P.M., and Geo. Raff, Esq.
Mr. John Innes, secretary of the School of Arts, was charged by Mr. George Appel, Vice-Consul for Hamburg, with having assaulted him in the School of Arts on Saturday, the 14th inst. Mr. Lilley appeared for the defendant.
Mr. G. Appel said that he was seated at the table looking at the “Illustrated News” when Mr. Innes, the secretary, sat down by his side and said, ” I want ten shillings subscription from you.” Complainant replied that he had not the money on him then, and he would leave at once; he rose to do so when defendant attempted to assault him, and when near the door caught hold of him, and in endeavouring to rescue himself his shirt collar was torn off; and, that in wresting himself from the grasp of Mr. Innes, he Mr. Innes, was thrown down. Complainant said that the secretary was excited in his manner.
In cross-examination Mr. Appel said that he was at one time a member of the School of Arts but had ceased to be so for about two years. Might have gone into the room a dozen times since he ceased to be a member. Mr. Innes asked him for ten shillings and told him he could not leave until he had paid it. Endeavoured as well as he was able to keep Mr. Innes away from him.
Mr. J. Patient Smith, was present when Mr. Innes asked Mr. Appel for ten shillings, which he did in an ordinary tone of voice, but was excited after the scuffling began. When Mr. Innes asked for the 10s. Mr. Appel did not appear to take any notice until the question was repeated three or four times. Mr. Innes then said to Mr. Appel, ” You have no right here, as you are not a member.” Mr. Appel replied, “I was a member some time past, and I did not think there was any harm in coming in here; if there is, I will leave.” Mr. Innes told him he could not stay unless he paid 10s. Mr. Appel took his hat and was going out, when Mr. Innes took hold of him and pushed him towards the door. There appeared to be a scuffle between both of them, as they were going towards the door.
Mr. Lilley, for the defence, said that Mr. Appel, who was vice-consul for Hamburg, was a very mean man, seeking to obtain the benefit of the School of Arts without paying his subscription. Mr. Appel acknowledged that he had not been a member of the institution for two years, and he also admitted that he had been to the School of Arts ten or twelve times to read the papers. When he had been asked for his subscriptions, he had replied that as soon as times grow better, he would again subscribe. For a man in Mr. Appel’s position to talk about 2s. 6d. per quarter, when there was not a boy in the town who would not willingly pay 2s. 6d. out of his own pocket-money for the use of the books and papers, was very mean. Instead of Mr. Appel’s having visited the School of Arts the number of times stated by himself, he was instructed to say that he had repeatedly been in the habit of doing so. If Mr. Appel did not know the law, he ought to do so. Mr. Innes was the secretary and custodian of the School of Arts, and it was his place to see that the rules were complied with. He had the care of the books and papers, and how did he know if non-members, people who were too shabby to pay the small quarterly subscription, were allowed liberty to enter when they pleased, but that they might find their way to the books as well as the papers. He contended that Mr. Innes was justified in what he had done. Mr Appel took no notice of the first and second application for the subscription, and Mr. Innes used no more force than was necessary to expel him as an intruder.
Mr. James William Thompson was in the gallery when the disagreement arose, and he saw Mr. Innes attempting to pull Mr. Appel out. They appeared to be pulling different ways. He did not think that Mr. Innes used more force than was necessary.
The Bench, during the hearing of the case, asked a great many questions, and decided that the assault was proved, and that more force had been used than was necessary, and fined the defendant 20s., and 12s. 4d. costs.
The next on the list was a gentleman named William Johnston, alias Crumpie, a recent arrival in our city, who was charged by the chief constable with having committed a desecration of the Sabbath on the 1st inst. It appeared that the defendant, whose habits are rather of an industrious nature, was found astride the top of a chimney, busily employed in repairing same. On being asked by the officer, if he was aware of the nature of the offence he was committing, he re-plied “Pooh man, this is nothing to what I have done. I have helped to build trenches on Christmas Day and shoot and cut thousands in the Crimea, but, man, if you do not like my working, I shall go read my history !” Case dismissed.
North Australian, Ipswich and General Advertiser (Ipswich, Qld. : 1856 – 1862), Tuesday 31 January 1860, page 3
North Australian, Ipswich and General Advertiser (Ipswich, Qld. : 1856 – 1862), Tuesday 17 January 1860, page 3
Moreton Bay Courier (Brisbane, Qld. : 1846 – 1861), Saturday 21 January 1860, page 2
Moreton Bay and More 