Consulting AI to Depict the Quiet Day in Ipswich.

AI image generators are fascinating things.

I knew that I probably shouldn’t have. But sometimes the temptation is simply too much. I just had to go and play with image generation software to help tell the Ipswich Courthouse stories.

The first story, that of the drunken man who sells his horse for too little, then argues with the buyer and her friend, made me think that “two harridans arguing with a drunk man, 19th century Australia” might be a good starting-off point. I don’t think that AI quite knew what a harridan was. Here are the results:

Clearly a harridan was either some form of North African/Middle Eastern philosopher, a stereotyped 19th century African American man, an old guy, or what appears to be an assemblage of angry wizard cowboys. The bottom picture is particularly beguiling, with its excess of feet and shoes, not to mention the distorted features and body of the gentleman sitting on the floor.

Feeling foolhardy and curious in equal measure, I asked for something that might depict the servant girl’s wedding. Various -quite reasonable I thought – requests resulted in these:

Beggars added, because?
Now, this wedding would have stopped traffic in Ipswich in 1850!
Look, I know that there’s a shortage of eligible women, but wait until the poor girl at least turns 10!

Then, a refining of the criteria (again, sensibly worded, or so I thought) brought forth the two most perplexing images:

What in God’s name are the creatures in the foreground? Did the invitation extend to yetis?
If you value untroubled dreams, do not look too closely at the faces of the wedding guests….

I made sure to specify Queensland and the time period for images of the man who took a sick day and got drunk. I should have known better:

A bear in a hat, anyone?
Holy Camelroo, Batman!

AI thoughtfully invented creatures that I didn’t know existed. There was the coy, hat-wearing bear-like critter on the left, and the giant “camelroo” in the other one. Perhaps these were the creatures the drunken man saw after consuming too much “Runumy.” I don’t know if the following two results are better or worse.

Those kangaroos better not be doing that when the Outback Cliche Express rolls into town.
In case you’ve ever wondered what a partially clothed, two-faced, backwards-ridden horseroo might look like.

Then, I came to the “late importation of the ferret-like species.” I asked for a sharp-faced woman, accompanied by constables, with the usual specifications of time and place. I received: a suffragette, a young man, and a lady who appears to have been taking part in WW2.

All of these images were generated by AI. Be careful what you ask for. The brand of software would probably ask that you respect its privacy at this difficult time.

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