Moreton Bay Courier, 25 December 1852.
From our Windmill Reporter
Pistol
HOT weather, and hard work at Charet’s[i] celebrated gold field in this neighbourhood, make me little inclined to communicate with you after my long silence, more especially as I am rather alarmed about one Pistol[ii], whose admiring friends run about frightening all the old women and children about two terrible tigers whom he is said to have shot in India. Bless us and save us! Why this must be the distinguished officer who cut off the retreat of Timour the Tartar by setting fire to the river Ganges, when that fierce warrior fled before the army of Genghis Khan; and whose wonderful travels in the interior of Mount Vesuvius are familiar to the public. I really cannot believe that he wished his admiring biographer to tell those “raw head and bloody bones” stories in public. My friend the druggist seemed quite startled, and almost as much frightened as myself: but a man can only be eaten once, so I must write to you.
Who is Windmill?
How can I be silent, when I hear a mystified individual solemnly inquiring “Who is Windmill? Does he grind by wind alone or what other motive power has he?” Who is Windmill? Why here he is, to answer for himself; and the inquirer has the merit of setting him in motion by the sheer power of vapour. To call this Windmill “obscure” argues himself unknown; for here it stands, overlooking, like a superior being, the petty frivolities and empty Braggadocios so far below. Neither the “wealth and intelligence” nor the “rabble” of the Stanley Boroughs[iii] could raise my brave old Windmill to a loftier post than it now occupies. Who sneers at the Windmill then? Neglect and hard usage may have put it a little out of repair, but there is something left in the Windmill yet, and it could soon be brought into good grinding order. Even now it cuts a much better figure as a representative of the Stanley Boroughs than any elected member will do in the Sydney Council. Let your readers look up at their old friend on its perch. It has witnessed some strange scenes, and is said to have been in its youth, involuntarily, placed in the neighbourhood of very discreditable society. But it has struggled against that disgrace, and survived it; and there it stands, having often served as a beacon and a landmark when there was none other to steer by. It is not so very obscure after all.
The Fight for Stanley Boroughs
I, as its old chronicler, can well afford to laugh, even in grief, at the plans of the “wealth and intelligence” to work upon the minds and stomachs of the “Independent electors of the Stanley Boroughs.” The argument is opened by the whipper-in, who lays down the broad proposition that “glasses round” fitly represent the “wealthy and intelligent” pot-wallopers[iv] of the Stanley Boroughs. This being admitted, a discussion ensues, upon the comparative merits of Martell, Geneva, hot with sugar or frigidum sine[v], and bottled beer; and each independent voter having selected his “peculiar vanity,” my dear and amiable friend informs the meeting that the star-spangled banner in glory still waves o’er the land of the free and the home of the brave. This very satisfactory intelligence having been received with loud cheers, a hungry looking elector suggests that the addition of cold salmon would materially tend to increase his peace of mind[vi].
There is great unanimity on this question, and the enlightened patriots having eagerly discussed their fish and beer, alcohol becomes more and more in request. The Whipper-in begs leave to state that Will Watch the bold smuggler, that fam’d lawless fellow, once fear’d, now forgot, sleeps in peace with the dead, which melancholy event creates a profound thirst in the meeting. Several low growls denote that other members are addressing the company in most melodious strains, and many curious and interesting facts are revealed. A pressing invitation is addressed by a sighing swain to Pretty Jane, to meet him in the clover when the bloom is on the rye; and no sooner has this gallant but rather inconsiderate request been applauded by the meeting, who do not appear to reflect that the young lady might take cold, than a youthful Stentor endangers his lungs in a vain attempt to make the distant girls of Buffalo hear his anxious inquiry whether they are “coming out to-night.” The debate having been carried to great length (and lengths), my musical friend claims the right of reply, and, without wishing to be egotistical, assures the meeting, that it was late in the winter, and about six o’clock in the morning, when he condescended to make his first appearance on this terrestrial stage; and that he was very innocent on that occasion. The latter part of this statement is received with considerable incredulity; but the general approbation and assent of the company are given to the assertion that he was a beautiful boy. The electors being fully convinced, by the able arguments adduced, that neither Lang nor the old Windmill are “the boys for Brisbane,” the meeting breaks up; all the resolutions, and many of the members, being carried.[vii] Perhaps this mode of electioneering may not require much “intelligence,” but some “wealth” is indispensable.
Hemp, and its Myriad Uses
l am glad to see that a worthy successor of Buffoon, the great Naturalist (or Natural)[viii], has settled here, and is devoting his gigantic mind to the growth of sago and senna. Hemp, also, comes under his consideration, as it is useful to all who have “shirts to wear, ships to rig, or criminals to hang”. (Sublime idea!) But “there are other plants whose fibres possess the requisite length and beauty”. Fancy the “requisite length and beauty” of a hangman’s rope! It is hinted that the fibres of the Pine Apple might be used for this purpose. Wise and beneficent ordinance of Nature, to give the delicious fruit for the “wealth and intelligence”, and the twisted fibres, “of the requisite length and beauty”, for the criminal “rabble”! Ye who eat Pine Apples to-day think of this and save the stalks. This Philosopher tells us that ” Of other resources of life granted us by nature, the Pulses, though little known among Englishmen (!), are held in just estimation in all sunny countries.” I should just say so! How would the inhabitants of these “sunny countries” be able to get on without the pulses? As to Englishmen, I can certify that the pulses form the chief “resources of life” amongst that people. It appears that “the next article is to be devoted to Trees”. The writer should set fire to the trees before he devotes his article to them.
If you insert this, sign it Vox Windmilliensis, and put a note at the bottom, to denote that I am at the bottom of the Latin class.
[i] Refers to the discovery of what turned out to be a famously minute quantity of gold in some quartz at Brisbane by Mr Charet in 1850. Moreton Bay Courier, 12 October 1850.
REPORTED DISCOVERY OF GOLD. Some excitement has been caused in Brisbane during the past week, in consequence of the alleged discovery of gold within a mile and a half from the town. The facts, so far as we have been able to gather them, are these – Last Wednesday Mr Charet, a watchmaker residing at North Brisbane, was taking a morning walk when he struck his foot against a stone which attracted his attention, and on picking it up he found that it was a piece of quartz, with a metal resembling gold in several of the interstices of the stone. He did not find any more at that time, but mentioned the circumstance to several persons, and next morning, in company with Mr Colyer, at present residing at the Victoria Hotel, went out again, and, it appears, found other pieces of quartz with gold in them, for Mr James Powers, of this town, met them returning, and received from Mr Colyer a piece of the quartz which he had found when in company with Mr Charet, and which showed a vein of gold. The metal was extracted by Mr Powers with a penknife and was found to weigh nine grains; and on breaking the stone he found that there were in some places traces of a similar metal. We have seen the piece of quartz found on the first day by Mr Charet, and there are three specks of yellow metal in it, one protruding, which, as well as the metal extracted by Mr Powers, is stated to be virgin gold. These circumstances are verified by the positive statements of the persons whose names we have mentioned. Several persons have been out with hammers &c., geologising, but as yet we have not heard of any further discoveries. The exact locality of Mr Charet’s alleged discovery has not been disclosed.
[ii] Pistol: At the time of Windmill’s column, a Separation Petition on behalf of the inhabitant householders of Moreton Bay had been presented to the New South Wales Colonial Parliament. It was not well received. Mr Wentworth: “The pretensions of the Moreton Bay people were perfectly absurd; it would be just as reasonable for the inmates of Cockatoo Island to ask for separation. (Hear, hear, and laughter.) The place was utterly insignificant in point of resources, and if it had to meet the expenses of a separate government it would necessarily become bankrupt in a very short time.”
There are a few references to “Pistol” in the Moreton Bay Courier in December 1852. They allude to a series of letters to the Editors of the Courier and the Moreton Bay Free Press, criticising various worthies and causes – Wentworth and other opponents of separation, the conviction of two Chinese men for the attempted murder of their employer, and Dr Challinor for making a typhus diagnosis in Ipswich. The Courier Editor mentions Cleveland frequently – “his Cleveland bellmanship”- which suggests that Pistol may have been Francis Edward Bigge (1820-1915), who was an avid separationist, and also spent a great deal of time and energy promoting the cause of Cleveland to be Queensland’s port and capital, rather than Brisbane. Between 1851 and 1852, Bigge held a seat in the NSW parliament for Moreton, Wide Bay, Burnett and Maranoa. Earlier, Bigge had been famously brave in the face of a bushranger gang, and his actions were reputed to have been the inspiration for part of “Robbery Under Arms” (Queensland Times obituary, 12 February 1916). This may explain the tiger hunting reference made by Windmill.
[iii] The death of Richard Jones Esq on 06 November 1852 required an election by the voters of Stanley Boroughs to find a new Member for North Brisbane, in the New South Wales Colonial Parliament. Dr Lang was one name suggested. Henry Stuart Russell (the explorer, grazier and politician, who accompanied Andrew Petrie on the Wide Bay ‘Duramboi’ expedition in 1842), was the eventual winner.
[iv] Potwalloper: a voter living in an English borough before the Reform Act of 1832 and qualifying for suffrage as a householder by the boiling of his own pot at his own fireplace. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/potwalloper. This refers to the ‘inhabitant householders’ who would vote in Stanley Boroughs.
[v] ‘cold without.’
[vi] Swaying voters? Never!!!
[vii] History would show that Russell would be the “boy for Brisbane”. Although “C. Windmill” had a fine old time of it in January 1853, placing advertisements in the Moreton Bay Courier, addressed to the Independent Electors of Stanley Borough.
[viii] In a letter to the Editor of the Moreton Bay Courier, a party identifying himself as “Philo-Juvenis” replied sarcastically to correspondence to the Moreton Bay Free Press on the topic of crops that could be grown in the region. “hemp, for instance, might be manufactured into neck-cloths for the vicious, and halters for biped donkeys, in order to restrain their skittish propensities.” The Editor waggishly responded: “Our audacious correspondent, who dares to talk of ‘rigging’ Editors, in a letter that profanely speaks of stumps, posts and other wooden articles, will see that some of his points have been anticipated by our Windmill retainer, who is not always asleep. Philo-Juvenis is a most impudent and irreverent person, and evidently cannot appreciate ‘sky-entific’ writing; nevertheless we shall be glad to hear from him again.” Moreton Bay Courier, 25 December 1852. I wonder…
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